Friday, June 8, 2012

My Opinion on 'Wedding Fatigue'

I apologize in advance for the lack of sparkly photos and the over serious post you are about to read, but being a bridesmaid and my positive experiences are the basis of my blog, so I am very passionate.

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So remember when I said here that I was being interviewed by the Washington Post?   Well the article is finally finished, and I am very satisfied with the outcome.  In the article titled, "When ‘one special day’ grows to marathon of wedding fetes, is it too much?" author, Ellen McCarthy, discusses 'wedding fatigue,' the exhaustion that comes from being a friend of the bride or groom and having to go to multiple showers/engagement parties/bachelorette nights, etc. When she asked if I would be interested in sharing some stories or had any survival tips I was sort of torn.  Of course I wanted to take an interview with the Washington Post, but I really didn't want to be misinterpreted.  I truly love all my friends and the experiences I have had being a bridesmaid, and I wanted to stay true to myself.  In life in general I try to make everything positive.  If you know me outside of this blog you know this about me.  I never quit.  I try to make everyone feel included.  And I will go above and beyond if a friend needs me.  I have my flaws of course, but I truly pride myself in being a good friend. 

So when Ellen contacted me on dishing out the fatigue that comes with being a professional bridesmaid, I did what I would do in any situation I took out a notebook and prepared.  I decided I would start by telling her I will help as much as I can, but my perspective will be positive.  That is how I write my blog and I live my life.  After reading the article I am so happy with what she took from our discussion.  I couldn't be more honored or elated to stand by my best friends on their biggest day of their lives (and all the days they need me leading up to it).  If I can't afford to go to an event, they understand if I say no.  If I can't afford to give a gift, I know they do not care.  The fact is if someone is expecting anything from you other than support and love on their big day, then I think that may be where the real problem lies.  All the events, gifts and showers are just extra bonuses, do not feel your friend will be truly hurt if you aren't able to participate.  If I approached my best friend and asked for her help that I can't afford the shoes or dress she wants, I would hope she could take a step back and accept it OR I think I would be the one HURT. 

When you say "yes" to being a bridesmaid I think you need to accept the fact you will have to buy a dress.  Hopefully the dress will be cost friendly, but if the wedding is 8+ months out you should be able to save enough cash up for that.  As far as travel plans go, if the wedding is a destination or in her home town, you would probably be paying to attend even if you were not a bridesmaid, so that has nothing to do with accepting the honor.  Other than attending the wedding and purchasing a dress, I do not think you have really any other monetary duties.  If the showers are convenient for you to attend, you go.  If you can afford to attend the destination bachelorette party and it works with your work schedule, you go.  And if you can't go to any event for any reason, YOU DON'T GO.  End of story.  I know my Dad/boss probably won't read this, but he thinks I am insane with all the weddings and events I attend, but it is a priority in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Now it is my turn to be the bride and I am trying to approach my wedding from the perspective of the bridesmaid.  I love all my friends so much and want to make sure they know how important they are to me.  So I want to take a moment to tell my amazing sister/maid of honor Melissa, and nineteen beautiful bridesmaids (in alphabetical order) Abby, Ali, Ali Kali, Alison, Beth, Courtney, Dudy, Heather, Hillary, Jamie, Judi, Kate, LA, Lauren, Linus, Lisa, Nicole, Stephanie, and Weisberg that I truly love them, appreciate them, and wouldn't be where I was today if I didn't have each and everyone of them in my life.  Some people may think I am crazy, but I just think I am lucky.

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Thank you so much to everyone for reading my blog today and everyday.  I love having this outlet so much and I feel inspired everyday.  I will be back next week with some normal pretty posts and I even have a fun wedding surprise to discuss!  Have a great weekend and if you have a wedding this weekend enjoy and don't drink too much champagne!

12 comments:

  1. Dudy loves you! Love this post! You're the best and I miss you!

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  2. I love your positive outlook and how you put everything in perspective! Very helpful for other bridesmaids :)
    Reading the article now!

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  3. Our guests could not stop talking about the food here, even telling us it was the most amazing food they'd ever had at a wedding.

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